Now that you know that this could also be the reason why your wife avoids physical contact, you need to be her rock and convince her that you still think shes as beautiful as the day when you first met her. Nothing is out of bounds! He has performance anxiety. But in practice, no one is equal. So our sex lives dwindled until around 15 years ago she realized a more regular sex life might be a good thing. 3. When we have been lucky enough to have experienced phenomenal sex with our partners and that has been cut off, that does not mean we stop wanting or needing sex and intimacy. Sometimes when a woman becomes a mother, it can affect the way she sees herselfand the way her partner sees her. only will your wife not want to touch you, but you probably wont want her to anymore. My beliefs are that I cannot step outside my marriage and commitment and it cost me some very good relationships with other women. The night my son died was when my loss of interest began, in fact it vanished, period. Outwardly to friends he seems a good husband, and he is BUT he will not have sex as he dies not fancy me anymore! "As we age, the vaginal lining becomes thinner, less elastic, and produces less moisture. This break down could be for a number of reasons: Some are directly related to her man. How is she even going to want to have a relationship?. What r u holding on for?! According to my research MOST sexless couple dont divorce. Ive tried everything I can think of but Ive given up. It may also help to learn about different forms of desire discrepancy. Does your wife feel seen and heard in the relationship, or is she never in the mood because she usually feels overlooked? Praying for these husbands. BUT I agree If I was an electronic game, or a bead of some kind I would get some attention.. We have had a very good sex life up until a few years ago, and she has had many good sexual adventures. I am free to masturbate without hiding it, just dont ask for sex, ever. I retired early to get Medicare and redusece medical expenses. Most importantly, a couple agrees that their marriage is built on a foundation of love and respect. I appear to have some value to her as a friend, roommate, handyman, gardner, earner, companion, but not in any intimate way. Without the energy of wooing, the fear of missing out if we do not woo, we fall into complacency and boredom. Im guessing because you are complaining that your 59 year old husband is fat, lazy, snores and is demanding is the reason you dont have sex anymore? Many marriages are suffering in this area, and even the strongest and most supportive husbands feel isolated from their wives. As a socialite in many women sponsored events, I believe her marriage status is important in her social circle than her marriage itself. My only suggestion would be to get out of this marriage and fast. I Don't Want To Touch My Husband Anymore (What Could Be Wrong?) As well as almost no feeling there as well. Each year for three years, she assured me she would seek help from a wholistic doctor, which never happened. It is indeed like forcing down a tasteless meal for someone elses sake. This isnt totally new for him either. No way! Im in the same situation with my overweight, lazy, 48 year old wife. Should they chew the food and pretend it tastes wonderful? But for women, its quite different. Most dont ever have this figured out. Truthfully, the solo routine is rather old. I think that for me I need the human touch of a mature woman. My wife and I have been married 20 years. **Women are constantly told to shut up and accept. (You might want to share with her an excellent resource about responsive desire, Emily Nagoskis book Come as You Are: The Surprising New Science that Will Transform Your Sex Life.). So our talking about this topic usually ends up in an argument or one of us so ticked off we could scream. But we didnt know what we had. During our engagement I made it crystal clear that my sex drive was high & she was the perfect woman to relieve it. I would be gone before dark! You can gently bring up that you want to keep prioritizing your sex life together so your wife understands how you feel and so you can mutually find ways to work on this part of your lives while still being sensitive to her struggles. My wife never trys to turn me on or initiate sex. please The wife was boring and I had to follow so many rules and regulations when it came to sleeping and sex together. has he? I guess. My Wife Doesn't Want Me Sexually (My Wife Never Touches Me Anymore) Ive even had the gumption to suggest that if HE doesnt desire sex, then maybe he could still give me pleasure. An endocrinologist told me he had never seen that before. I am not happy at not having anymore sex in my life at age 64, but I do care for her and she does care for me, not in the sexual way of course. But she is just not sexually attracted to me. Look, not to give your hubby a pass here, but please, understand that most men in our country, we who were raised in the 50s. More men need to leave their wives when they wont have sex with them. That was then and she is gone now. Where is their allegiance to you? Hope your marriage will last till you die you depart. If theyve been fighting the whole day, physical intimacy is the last thing on their mind. I had four children from a previous marriage, I had a tubal ligation reversal so we could have a child of our own, By serious good luck, we had one. He has with held sex before, once or twice when he was mad at me a couple of times in the past 18 year, that was my punishment. My wife and I are in our late 50s and connect wonderfully in all ways. I was married for 24 years. But dont you have a affair, to deal with that sex drive that Im ignoring. But then she had a full hysterectomy to further reduce her hormone production, and from then on, sex has all but stopped. Ive moved on!!! Having said that, it still stinks. When home I was to do whatever he wanted me to. Then, I got a highly aggressive, estrogen- fired breast cancer. Im in my 50s and after years without feeling that hardness inside me anymore, I often find myself thinking about the next 30 years without. In other words, pressure makes for bad sex even when you actually end up having it, and all that pressure and bad sex might make your wife just lose interest in sex completely. Brother, your story sounds exactly like mine. I get it and don't want to add to her stress. We are starting to fight a lot and twice I heard him on the phone throwing me under the bus to someone. My wife says shes convinced that my strong sex drive saved our marriage that got us through our in-laws, the deaths of 2 of our children, accidents, emergencies, seriou surgeries, any one of which could have destroyed us. Men, if you want sex and the answer at home is no, you can accept that the last time you had sex will be it until you die. interested in sex as they grow older but I find that to be true of men as well at least in the case of my husband! I am NEVER ENOUGH so why even bother? Who gets up and takes card of them? But no cuddling, spooning, showers, surprise hugs or squeezes, in bed we may as well be cousins or brother and sister as we just sleep on our own side and no touches. Wtf are we supposed to do when our spouse doesnt want to make love? Share This: Have a question about relationships and sex for seniors? I am 62 and my husband is 63. Ask your wife about how she's feeling about the relationship, about you, and about your life together, and see how you can get your relationship back to a good place. I dont understand. Fun-loving, Honest and Straightforward. Men with low sex drive try lifting free weights in a gym. It was even suggested I try penile injections at bedtime so I can at least get hard for her pleasure. Ive tried all the normal things too. In most cases, Ive seen that men dont realize and acknowledge the needs of their wives. Sounds like you were already successful and that attracted her to you. Id say he has some other issues. In my case our problems are ever deeper in that ours is a Love /Hate relationship. I would like to add that many women also feel a great deal of resentment which builds over time I had literally experienced everything you mentioned in your post and then I had a bilateral mastectomy and chemotherapy for breast cancer. I do, however, feel like absolute shit about the negative impact on my husband who is six years younger than me and who has always had a high (higher than mine, anyway) sex drive. We try not to get in each others way and we havent had a conversation in years. We went to a therapist who separated us and I thought that might help her confidence. We went to a number of therapists but none were able to help. Want to know why? We have talked and talked with and without therapist, but its just talk. It will only create more distance between you. (she has seen a councelor) and she this has gone on for years and may take years to heal and maybe I will never heal. Married 30 years now. If theres no intimacy in your marriage from your wife and youve realized that she may be suffering through mental health issues, Bonobologys panel of experienced therapists can help guide your partner through this turbulent time, and perhaps re-establish the harmonious relationship you yearn for. And cheating isnt an option either. love him & my family and weve been married for 34 years & 5 years before that. Sh. . Well, its clearly only getting worse. I just CANNOT do things he EXPECTS from me because of how that makes me feel, ESPECIALLY when it comes to intimacy. I work hard and have to masturbate sometimes to fall asleep. Now its too late. But at this point I dont think her interest in sex will ever revive, so what would your advice be? goodluck! Sigh . he is very persistent. Nothing, I mean nothing, kills a relationship, a marriage, a union, more thoroughly than complacency and boredom. But it should not stop like this as it hampering your life. Most women find us as nothing more then a sex pig. I am aware of the risks, and am more than willing to live with them, rather than go back to how I was before. I was disabled when she met me, so Im it cant be because of money. You risk losing it all for the same quick minute that you already have with your wife. Here are some things that you can try if you want to get intimate with your spouse. Damn was I a dumbass. My wife determined several years ago that she no longer has that connection to me, and will eventually leave. What shallow view of the problem. Having children may be one reason intimacy has decreased in your marriage, but it is not the only reason. For me, its been 8x in 3 yearsand Ive tried talking about it with him as frequency has dwindled to essentially nothing. I would love to be greeted with a smile, a cuddle a thoughtful touch but nothing. Your story is very very simular to mine. Seeing a therapist or speaking with her doctor about her mental health is a step in the right direction to help you recognize the woman you fell in love with. She just isnt attracted to me. Weve all heard the answer to no Sex is stop having Sex? . I do most of the household chores, she doesnt work outside the home, and hasnt since weve been married i constantly compliment her looks,I have been striving for decades to woo her, and sex is now completely off the table, and she wont even cuddle or kiss. If your wife never initiates sex, its time to bring out your inner charmer and start romancing your wife. I am very attracted sexually to my wife and it hurts my ego that she isnt at all. I started seeing sex workers. Richard C Fully. Discussing the problem is a problem in itself because she simply get very irritated and by it and thats the end of that! If theres resentment in the marriage, its bound to manifest itself in a sexless marriage. I would walk a mile in this mans shoes before I offer advice. She is my sister as far as Im concerned not my lover and I dont know what to do. Id go get some attention somewhere if I could. Guess were done here . I feel like Ive been through hell. Only your wife herself can tell you the exact reason why she's not interested in having sex with you. We have been convinced to settle and accept less. For the writer of this letter/question . If divorce is not an option then get involved outside the home. You should consider a strap on dildo, the size and width are your choice. Together we have seen a number of therapists with not much luck but felt I owed it to her to try and fix things. Why Doesn't My Wife Want Me Anymore - Is Our Sex Life Over If a couple's sex life continues to follow a routine that doesn't tend to feel good for the woman, she may lose interest in having sex entirely. He has no interest. My wife has no desire for sex. What can I do? - TODAY.com Guys need intimacy too as well as sex and we love our spouses too. But each night i rub her feet and tickle her thighs..she just lays there ..and I go out and sleep in a recliner. Just has zero desire. If I was better looking and could make the time to find a willing partner Id do it because sex has dwindled a lot in the last ten years. Denied the enjoyment, should they be expected to put the same effort into the preparation? There are many reasons. Having married one of the well into that 34% is hell. At 20 years I did start having a partner on the side because I was very sexually frustrated and that partner within the same situation. I have the same situation you describe, almost to a T. The only thing thats worse is that my husband is sneakily still interested in porn and satisfying himself when Im not around. Then she wakes and l turn my head to see her reach across pick up the phone and begin scrawling through and tapping away. In the meantime,, get naked and take care of your partners needs because as you can see on this strand, there are plenty of people out there who will! Wooing is a life-long endeavor. Menopause can affect a woman's sexual functioning2 and overall interest in sex. I say bullshit to every man and women experiencing no sex in a relationship if they want it with their partner. Prostate cancer is the #1 cancer in older men and when the prostate is removed during surgery it makes a man totally impotent no erection, no ejaculation, no orgasm plus total incontinence which means the post cancer patient needs to wear Depends diapers for the rest of his life. And you are wasting your life . How To Romantically Flirt With Your Spouse? Porn is the no. s.src = 'https://EXAMPLE.disqus.com/embed.js';
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