we broke up and he got another girl pregnant

Translation: men should think before they poke but women can do whatever they damn well please. But you were split up for 2 months and cant bear to live without each other yet he didnt waste any time jumping into bed with someone he barely knows? I think the LW and her ex would do better to break up for good. But sometimes, we don't even realize just how painful they are until after they've happened, and the person you love . Briana DeJesus. And I do commend him for providing financial support. And guess whatthe potential consequences came to life, quite literally for him. Steve- The law doesnt say theres no child at conception. I am not entirely sure how this applies when the kids are not the product of both people, but when it is mom, dad, junior and junette junior and junette do not always come first, always. female It has nothing to do with the man. It would have been way happier if its bottles didnt explode. Susie is on birth control but they still discuss what names their eventual children will have. Talk about malarky. I kept waiting for someone to say this. Dear Bossip: We Broke Up And He Got Another Woman Pregnant Susie and Jimmy find themselves in the same predicament only Jimmy is thrilled because hes enlisting and being deployed overseas. Every woman who has given a child up for adoption is, in your mind, an immature asshole. Im not saying this guy is wonderful by any means. haha I agree. And if by some chance she does get pregnant itll be difficult but theyre going to get married someday anyway so theyll just start their family earlier than planned. I think it is unfair that the man cant have sex without the possibility of becoming a parent, but the woman can. Its not JUST about your ex-boyfriend, LW. Knock it off. Or pining away for a father figure theyll never, ever have? I dont agree with it, but the beauty of being an American is we both get to have our views. I asked him why and never got a response back, ever. Theyre both opposed to abortion but theyre being safe, right? . We Broke Up; He Had a Baby. Less than a year after our breakup, my No one is forcing any woman to have the child and much less to keep it. You and John are both arguing something that nobody else is. Has your childs father left you during pregnancy then came back? If she does your boyfriend will deal with the aftermath of having sex without a condom. When I could just as easily say, Its so easy for men to disappear after a pregnancy and never give financial support to their child.. Im surprised that you guys dont recognize Chuck. You see being nurturing as a weakness. Or is she trying to get him to live up to his responsibilities (which he brought on himself when he had unprotected sex and got someone pregnant)? Sure. Model Mustang. Well he will still have to pay child support. Share your opinions and thoughts below! I am amazed at people who think abortion is wrong for religious reasons, but have no concerns about coitus with people outside of matrimony with people they just met for two minutes. Because the woman in question has to take on being pregnant for 9 months, giving birth, etc. I see youre an ignorant homophobe too. Both have to accept responsibility for that. Maybe because she wants a tie to the LWs boyfriend. What do you think happens to the fetus? That is a risk women take. It may not be widely known among the comment threads of womens advice blogs and other social hangouts but the family law bar is well aware of this issue. Bless This Mess. I just think its extremely scumbag-ish to want nothing to do with your child, no matter how it was conceived. Coke doesnt have to visit you in the hospital and make sure youre happy. So, to be clear, every woman who has had an abortion is, in your mind, an immature asshole. Steve Kellmeyer I have a feeling you are going to stay with this guy no matter what (since you would just diiiie without him). It doesnt sound like shes ready or willing to deal with him having fathered a child, especially if he changes his mind and wants to be a part of its life. But not usually. Ugh so agree with Amanda. She asked what to do with this guy. He said he would do whatever i wanted him to. Cried my eyeballs out evry nite. Why are people here creating scenarios that arent in the letter? It just doesnt mean that everything will be acceptable whole-heartedly. April 10, 2012, 5:46 pm. Theres a fun scenario. I know of a jumpmaster who lost his nose and ears for being too bold doing the one-minute door check in severe cold weather. It;s an even bigger dickish move, dare I say cuntish move to fucking LIE about being on the pill to get knocked up Or maybe shes just a fucking idiot and cant figure out how to follow the directions on a prescription bottle. Well, now it's been years. If your ex moved on before you did, you might feel as if they won or wonder why you didn't find someone else . WTF are you reading? she didn't know that she's pregnant after in 4 month later. Before getting back together with your ex, maybe you should consider strongly whether or not you want to be with the kind of person whos angry that someone didnt abort in order to alleviate HIM of responsibility. Wellyeah. If you know you absolutely dont want kids, do everything you can to prevent them. Not only to prevent babies but to protect yourself from STDs. Now, I want to believe him, but in my rightful mind I know I will be so dumb to buy all that he is say. Im not sure why you think this woman is trying to trap your boyfriend unless there are other details you didnt provide. Top 49 Girlfriend Jokes 1. I brought my girlfriend home and introduced and now he must deal with those consequences. Wrapping it up doesnt prevent pregnancy. I am curious what RR will have to say after some interesting points being made after her comments. You are too funny John. But still a good thing to have. Mother hits hard times and ends up going on either Medicaid or Temporary Assistance/Welfare. LW, you need to take time to look at what you want in your life. The you made your choice when you had sex argument goes both ways. Nope. I would like to also say, we dont know that shes trapping him. I do believe that many accidental pregnancies are not so accidental, but that is all the more reason for people who engage in casual sex, and are dead set against having kids, to do everything in their power to avoid having them! Surely you know that So if you want to hate women for having child support, why dont you hate the men who skipped town. But thats a crime?. Does he think hes too old to be a dad? There are many other examples of behavior that might possibly lead to unwanted consequences that we each do daily. But by that same logic, you must be prepared to call a woman who doesnt want to be a mom a scumbag for getting an abortion (in the instances the guy wants to keep it but that woman doesnt). She goes to a restaurant and orders a meal that doesnt explicitly say that it has peanuts in it, but the restaurant has several other dishes that have peanuts in it. Jimmy and Susie are in love. 5. I think that it does, as most have pointed out, take two people to get pregnant. If you dont want a kid with a stranger then PULL OUT!!! You want to be a slave to a prick like him? In many states men can declare themselves non-fathers. We dont know that she asked for any money. Friends of mine who were raised largely by their mothers but had to deal with their irresponsible, alcoholic fathers who dropped in and out of their lives whenever it pleased them did far more emotional damage to their children than my lack of having a father did to me. And you wonder why people accuse the threads of being hostile toward males? Or, hey, maybe they were both tested, maybe they were both clean, and maybe he believed her, and maybe she actually was on the pill. Seriously? However, an absent father does not always result in an emotionally crippled child. And Im not sure what his being 40 years old has to do with her getting an abortion. Just like we trust people when they say they got tested? This woman is having a baby, not a concept. Thats not the point here. evanscr05 But shes having his baby and whether he likes her, loves her, or hates her, that baby is his child. He chose to not wear a condom and now he has to be responsible for his choice. Really? April 9, 2012, 6:35 pm, Not highly infectious, huh? You bolster my case by agreeing that he can share responsibility with the mother or simply provide support but he does not have the option to opt out entirely, which is something the pregnant woman can do. Let me fill you in on reality: when a guy sleeps with a woman he believes to be on the pill, he does so with the not-unreasonable expectation that she doesnt want to become pregnant. Hey Bossip Fam, what do you think? I dont think you have the maturity to deal with this sort of complexity so I would peace out for the sake of everyone involved, especially the baby. We should use it more often. 22. . As much as men have some inherent advantages, women do as well, and one of them is the ability to, once pregnant, get support for 20+ years from someone they might have just met. SpaceySteph Im pretty sure the guy is being called scum because of his shitty attitude towards the pregnancy and the unborn child. Kansas City, Missouri. No loss there. LADIES he could stand her. female April 10, 2012, 6:26 pm. If he didnt want a child he should have better protected himself. 13 Honest Reasons Guys Think About Their Ex After A Breakup - YourTango We ended up keeping in touch for months and talked about working things out. Where do stand on the fact that when a pregnancy occurs its only the woman who has to go through either an abortion or childbirth and the man never does either? hi there! The woman also gets to choose to keep the baby if she wants (even against his wishes), and gets the added benefit of forcing an unwitting and unwilling father into servitude for what is completely and totally her choice by your own admission. I dont care. My heart broke into a million pieces. Even if she was lying about being on birth control. When I was on the pill, my ex boyfriend STILL used condoms to make sure it was safe. Like if the guy is unconscious or doesnt know how babies are made? After dating him for about 3 months, she got pregnant with his baby. It is time to take a hard honest look at yourself and why you really want to be in a relationship with a man that wants to be with someone else. And water. But, of course, this makes him an asshole. April 9, 2012, 3:01 pm, Well, I have to just give the opposite side of this that 1. at least he plans to financially provide for the child and 2. if someone is so adament about not wanting children as he seems to be, then all are probably better off giving the child to the mother only which is a hell of a lot like adoption. In the case where a woman goes to prison because she raped a kid, you can bet theyre going to hit her up for child support too. You moved and hoped he would come chasing you. And why do you think shes trying to trap him? Remember we are hearing all this second or third hand. Thats precisely the incentive structure feminism (and the paternity laws that followed) have created. The only thing you need to think about is if you can stay and have a healthy relationship with a man who has a child with another woman and wants to bear minimal responsibility for raising the child. hamster van beethoven We broke up for 8 hours 2 months in and he met another girl within those 8 hours. And, you are not the choice. He seems to be playing into a lot of her fantasies, plus providing a ready excuse why hell never have any money. (Well assume she is pro life for non religious reasons because Im not sure why a religious person would be fine with banging after two minutes thats a whole other can of worms). Essence may receive compensation for some links to products and services on this website. Seriously. Your Turn: "He Got Another Woman Pregnant While We Were on a Break!" Mistakes That Can Make a Breakup Worse and What to Do Instead - Insider Sure. I think this guy is a jerk not because he had sex with someone else when he was single, but because he is taking no responsibility for a life he created. And alimony is given to whichever spouse made less income, not women as a rule. Its crazy how much abject hatred there is out there. John Rohan Makes me wonder if youre happily married like I am, or just a bitter divorcee who clings to feminism and man-hating as a knee jerk reaction of having been wronged. 17. The manner to which they have become accustomed is a reference to alimony, not child support. First of all, she seems to think her boyfriends reaction is completely reasonable. Men should not rely on women for their own birth control unless the two people in question are in a committed relationship. Seriously this is skeeving me out. The sperm is genetically identical to the IVF doctors sperm, and it is the IVF doctor who impregnates the woman, even if he never has sex with her. We were back and forth and it was very frustrating for me so I gave him an ultimatum I told him that he either wanted to make it work and we move forward, or, that I was leaving to another city to start over without him. I have no doubt theyll be happy, healthy, and well-adjusted with a mom so loving as you! When he got back together with her, he should have had himself tested for STDs, which hopefully he did. Should I leave my GF because she's pregnant by someone else? If youre a man, your time to prevent having a child is when you have sex and decide how to protect yourself. While I grant you that the lack of control for men once a pregnancy occurs is, in a sense, unfair, I think there is unfairness on both sides of the issue. Forcing him to stay with her isnt going to make anyone happy at all. Although I cant decide if shes purely a straight-up C.U.N.T. Again, this implies that a pregnancy must lead irrevocably to a child. If I ever get pregnant and the dude wants nothing to do with the child, I will not force him. I dont think the LW can handle a relationship where another woman has her mans child. I just picture this LW with only tiny chunks of her brain left rattling around in her head as she sputters out this completely illogical rubbish (malarky). Bottom line. Thats all well and good except it didnt happen and now theyre in this situation. Its when a mans sperm connects with a womans egg. Neither are the kids, but thats beside the point where feminism is concerned, right? What if she believes than an abortion is murder? Also who goes around talking about how he cant stand the mother of his child? Because otherwise, society would, if you could never work again and started collecting welfare, etc. but all those prominent male politicians usually turn out to be gay and not hetero at all.. bittergaymark I find it absurd that there is a debate about this guys right to have unprotected sex as if its ever a good idea. Deadly, sure, but not highly infectious. Coke didnt have to do anything wrong. That child has done nothing wrong and doesnt deserve to be thrown in the middle of these grown-up problems. April 10, 2012, 6:23 pm, P.S. I just personally get outraged that this is the case: that he would have to pay support regardless, but that she can opt out of it. Were looking at this situation through the eyes of his ex whos pissed off that he knocked up this other woman but seems pretty bound and determined to get back with him. You are being played with a capital P! This is a man that has never stopped cheating on you. He loves me and doesnt care about the mother but wants to be there for the child, but said he doesnt have to and wil wait for the DNA test. Thats all I can really offer.

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