i feel guilty for kissing another guy

I'm not telling him because I don't want to mess this up. And has also started crying for no reason when things are going well between us. Almost a year ago I began university, my boyfriend and I decided we would do long distance and we are still together now. Just my thoughts having been a victim of cheating. I felt disorientated. I'm sure you'll survive if you don't tell him and I'm certain that he doesn't need to know. We were chatting when we realised the other woman was snoring. Create an account to follow your favorite communities and start taking part in conversations. He went on to tell me that he kissed another woman and he had to tell me, he couldn't keep it a secret from me. reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2006): A I feel like my husband deserves so much better, but can't tell him because the guy isn't some stranger, he's a person I see 5 days a week, and I know if tables were turned and I was in my husbands position I would wonder what interactions were happening between the two in work everyday. He never says this so I knew it was something serious. An affair isn't a bad choice made when a married person decides to sleep with someone that they aren't married to. I feel sorry for those with depression, mental illness, hangnails, bad hair, bad childhood memories, etc. Carl Jung said that if you're dreaming of a stranger of the opposite sex, it usually means your psyche is tapping into your inner man or inner woman. You love your spouse and you want to do your best to be a good partner. Thank you. I couldnt take it so I told him. Yes, I think if your boyfriend thinks his girl or boy or whatever is gonna be loyal to them even under the influence. I had only taken three years of piano lessons while still a teenager, and here I was in my late 40s studying piano again. Alcohol was a factor, but all it did was bring to the surface the feelings that were already there. female I didnt want to cheat on him and I made up my mind it wouldnt happen again. If he forgave you, then it sounds like he accepted that it was a mistake, that you won't do it again and has moved on. Have another little thinkipoos (with or without a little drinkipoos). "and though he immediately pulled away". Arun, I agree with everything you said here because I was guilty of kissing a guy I liked when I was drunk, knowing that I liked him and wanted to see how much.". (By the way, dwahling, am loving your tu-tu and Toys R Us tiara! Once was after we'd had a bit of a heavy talk earlier, and the other two were after we dropped one of the little ones off at the grandparents and he started talking about if it gets easier to leave a child (ie when you have weekend contact and you have to drop the child back off at the end of it.). You drank and you kissed. Should I tell him or just get on with my life and put this whole sorry mess behind me? you are 18 or older, you read and agreed to the. My husband wasnt home at the time. You kissed a guy - Possibly unforgivable. Dont tell me now that youre in love with him.. LGBTYouTube stars Bria Kam and Chrissy Chambers (BriaAndChrissy) have released a videoexploring what its like for straight guys to kiss other men for the first time. You mentioned foreplay as being the main gate. reader, missbunbury+, writes (25 October 2005): A I had three Assistir Chelsea X Leeds - Ao Vivo Grtis HD sem travar, sem anncios. When you conclude that your guilt is sending you an incorrect message, label your guilt as a false alarm, ignore it as best you can and make a fresh . Whoops. Then you must be doing it wrong. "Soz". Me, I can't believe committing adultery isn't an actual crime yet. If you kissed a stranger, your significant other might just react by laughing or by telling you it's okay. I just knew you would cheat on me if given half a chance.. I'm taking it day by day. He has assignments at different sites, and for the last four weeks he has been at the same place. Keep it to yourself. I could go on about a lot of things here. Egon Ronay-level Petit Degustation, requires the corresponding amount of TIME in which to do so. But I don't see the need to borrow trouble by telling your boyfriend if you have learned your lesson and know you will never do something like that again. It was the most thrilling feeling I ever had watching my wife kiss and make out with another guy. Should find time to respond tomorrow. I knew this was wrong but my brain wasn't working properly. For me, to feel guilty about having sex with someone, while in a relationship with someone else, I must have remorse. Houston, this team needs to identify then agree over what's causing it. Your significant other might get very angry about this, but I believe it depends more on whom you kissed rather than on the fact that you kissed someone else. he set the standard of how he wished this relationship to be conducted in such scenarios yet you failed to follow it WHY did you?). I'll still cross over with him at times, but it will be minimal. I feel horrible. It was just a kiss. My eyes were closed and my head was spinning. If you drink so much that you lose track of everything, then you already took the first step on a dangerous road. Being an authentic partner and holding back secrets does not seem to go well together. Sincere apology if my assumption is wrong. If he wants to keep her as a "friend", complete access is a must. Is Kissing Someone When Drunk Cheating? | Relationship Talk I merely stated from the above that lips are a part of foreplay. "Sadly, many people who have a crush on someone else purposely get drunk ". / Dyathinkhesaurus? Truth-seekers are never popular. Oh my god, (Brodie)bit my tongue! yells James. I did say gateway to sex at first didn't I. If I receive a text from someone that is flirtatious in anyway, I test the person back and tell them that I do not want anymore flirtatious texts and if we are friends then they need to respect my relationship. focus on you and your DH. When I was in college, I cheated on a bf while I was drunk not because I was drunk, but because I was presented with the opportunity and I wanted wanted to do it. Even though it took her a while to make that choice, she both never recognized her role and then made a series of bad choices after. Ashley Madison helped things along with extramarital affairs. New Mexico sunsets flat lands breathtaking. You were no exception. What am I going to do? Many people who get drunk become more amorous, and if our significant others arent with us at the time of our drinking binge, we might be inclined to kiss or even have sex with someone else because were not playing with a full deck when were drunk. Don't hurt him any more than you already have. So what do you think? And I know himhad it made him feel the slightest bit threatened and worried, either he'd have said so there and then, or, if for some reason hadn't felt capable, would have shown in his behaviour at some point (I was watching for it regardless). If you. What if they were married? We are together 12 years altogether and although I had boyfriends before him, it was never serious, and he is the only man I've ever slept with. If the reaction is strong, then maybe dont say anything. Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. Fear holds you back. ;-)). I was devastated. So many arguments begin because our partners got drunk and kissed someone else while they were under the influence of alcohol. Im also pleased that you agreed with my argument as to when to fess up and when to keep your mouth shut. Psychology Today 2023 Sussex Publishers, LLC, Psychology and the Mystery of the "Poisoned" Schoolgirls. Similarly, meeting with someone privately and not telling your partner can also be a warning sign that . PS: Don't ever drop it, will you. ;-)), Back too Ya My Sistah from another mother!! And, of course, cheating always tends to increase during a recession. I guess what really bothers me a lot is when kids get involved. Houston, this team needs to rectify the causes or agree to seek outside help in it whilst this one team member needs to atone for having almost embarked on a hurtful and potentially damaging test unilaterally without her teammate's consent. What would people say if she'd slept with someone else? If he's like meI can forgive the actbut not the lying. And now you - who finds trust difficult - have been tempted to do your OWN test (already commencedwhilst drunk), approached via the psychological end. I Feel Guilty About Kissing Someone | Relationship Talk I have to admit that by kissing this guy whom I liked, I did cheat on my husband. I have to admire the guy for realizing that he was putting a marriage at risk, and backed away. Why? I was dating thus guy for 6 months and he stopped calling and texting. She may say that. this guy only tried to kiss you so as far as you cheating on him there is no and your appropriate response was toback away and leave the guy standing. In fact, you dont even have to tell your partner what you did because it was an innocent kiss. Though somehow I think there might have been trouble in the marriage. And I have never cheated myself. If you we're my girlfriend and it was years ago and never happened again I would not want to know. This post is probably the most intelligent and insightful posts Ive seen on this site. I felt disorientated. They say don't tell the wife or husband about the infidelity, because it would cause more hurt. If you want to know the why's, you're going to have to be willing to hear the darkest part of what makes me, ME. It how you deal with it that makes the difference. DON'T: Kiss and tell to someone you're kissing. I like him so so much and I know I was just being drunk and ****. [4] WHY would you have kept it secret? That's a lot to take in. We lived in a small town at the time, and it felt like avoiding this girl was nearly impossible. Such as crying,begging that would be enough for me to give them a second chance. The other day, I had a first with my partner Flo: I put my tongue in another man's mouth while he stood by only to observe. This one by far has lasted the longest. Well, now, that little lot *definitely* counts as 'debate fodder' relevant to this whole issue, rather than pure chit-chat. A female friend of mine was staying at our house for the weekend. It's where the lips have been and where they're going. And if you're not confessing - to the victim - you're dodging doing time. Your choice, as ever. :p But not good enough and you not happy enough to exclude fore-foreplay (open-mouthed kissing) with someone (*ugh) other than him as per the for-life contract? Houston, despite we started out as just friends, we now have PROOF that we have utilised a mechanism for cultivating love and respect, enough to now remain together til death do us part. How can I get over the guilt of kissing another man? - Female First Weve probably all known silly drunks, mean drunks and people who simply couldnt hold their liquor and vomited all over the place. A relationship with a man is supposed to be specifically platonic, says YouTuber David Godinez, while filmmaker James Rath says that men are told not to be physically intimate. A guy bought me drinks and he asked me if I wanted to ride his motorcycle to another bar and I did. Even despite it included you having to become whatever degree of a low-down doity adulterer. I really need your help.I have been dating this boy for the past two months. So she told him for starters to kiss her well you know where. Yet obviously (action of posting on a forum after having pulled the snog plug) you don't like that bit. I believe that over time this would have happened with or without the wiskey. Because you feel guilt and awful, that is already a potential secret wall that will build up between you and the one person in the world with whom you want to be a true closest friend. He deserves the right to make the decision on whether he can forgive you and move on with you. stop any contact (outside of work) immediately. Three women and one guy went back. Cell phones, texting, emails etc. Lead to or gateway to, I guess there's a difference. Your guilt is your punishment. If it in the meantime hits a nerve and makes you uncomfortable or even gets you all het up, that's your problem, not mine. It's one of those cases where keeping it a secret would be worse than the transgression itself, especially since it'd be a case of 'the pot calling the kettle black'. She had gone to bed. The straight women in the girls-french kiss-girls videowere all shocked at how gentle and non-aggressive female kissers were, in comparison to guys. Your boyfriend may love you so much that he believes you won't repeat the cheating ever again. Something like that changes almost everything in a marriage. JavaScript is disabled. Press J to jump to the feed. Im guessing that theres a good chance you would have gone all the way if the piano teacher had gone for it. He deserves to know. the guy has a long term girlfriend who he lives with and he said she was really angry with him for coming home so late, then he said, look, I think we're good people that completely lost our minds for 5 minutes, and are suffering major guilt for it now, but it will never ever happen again, and I'm not going to say a word to anyone' to which I replied 'neither am I' and he said 'ok, look I'll see you on Monday but this is going to be ok, don't worry, we can move on from this' SOULMATE: I accept the ASSuming Award. My wife wants to leave because of this. reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2005): Already have an account? Biological ones. Stories about open relationships, swinging, polyamory and other alternative relationship structures. Wow, you really do want a baby, don't you. I agree. I felt a mixture of excitement and flattery and nerves. (*'I know, your right, it's just I'm really attracted to you and couldn't not act on it, I'm sorry, you're right'. What To Know About Buster Murdaugh, Alex Murdaugh's Only Surviving Son I work in hospitality, so I can't change departments, but I can change my shift pattern. I know it was wrong and I regret it all. He left and went to the lake. It felt so wrong and taboo yet so erotic and a sort of thrilling jealousy! My libido is sharper when Im sober, at least if Im really attracted to a guy and have the love goggles on. Any advice guys? Then the women who owns the house went upstairs and never came down. Be the adult here. "I really can't do this, I have no excuse, I'm married and he's lovely, it's not like I'm unhappy, he's a good person'" If you think that straight guys are too macho to experiment with same-sex kissing, then yourewrong. But for me, it was. lover. Not just what I did but the fact I work with this person and have to continue to work with him. If your boyfriend still trusts you- then his faith in your fidelity moving forward should give you faith in yourself. I thought we were talking, in context of the above-type scenario, about mouth-to-mouth kissing being a 'gateway to sex' for the fact of it sparking physical arousal, ergo, whether delayed or in-the-moment, counts as foreplay, ergo, infidelity (albeit, granted, at the thin area of that whole wedge). Here are the frightening ways to know that he gave another girl a kiss ; 1. :-*. response. / Houston, turns out I/you/I+You can't have kids the natural way after all, which is no-one's fault; let's try IVF / adopt / foster / console ourselves with the fact we'll always have each other, and the babies of people we know to borrow, and the freedom and greater financial means to please ourselves. I want to break down and cry. If you don't figure this out OP, it will happen again. I am 100% sure he will forgive you and will love you even more for telling him (which you should have done A LONG TIME AGO). You even said it indirectly in your story, when said you decided to get drunk. I mean that in a funny way. I have never done anything like this before and truly would never again. One way to get over the guilt would be to prove to yourself that it will never happen again. The 5 Ingredients of an Effective Apology, The Power of a Dream: The Customs Inspector, 3 High-Risk Relationship Concerns No Couple Should Ignore, Eliminating Guilt, Shame, Regret, and Worry, Protecting the Innocent: The Cognitive Context of Guilt, How to Deal with Breakup Guilt in a Healthy Way. There is no earthly reason that your partner needs to know chapter and verse of every indiscretion you ever engaged in. When I woke up yesterday I still felt drunk but the reality of what happened hit me like a tonne of bricks. The drunk part won't matter to him because his mind will only think about the kiss. I mean if a person can't rely on their own strength of character and self-discipline to stop them from crossing that line, they obviously NEED an outside deterrent. Myself and the man were sitting next to each other on the couch, and the other woman was sitting on another couch at the other side of the room. 5. :-) I mean, *I* don't mind if your relationship continues slowly but surely remaining on the skids, do I. Tell boyfriend another guy tried to kiss me? - GirlsAskGuys Try-it-on, cheating sleazebag makes pass at loyally-married woman; Kissed someone on vakation while drunk, cheating or not? Maybe she was experimenting or it was something shed thought about and wanted to see what it felt like. You're denying him that right and being selfish. One day, he came over with a bottle of whisky and he had already been drinking. This recently happened to me. Do you? Sorry Soulmate I know I need to stop,but it's hard to. Relationships are about trust, first and foremost. We've been together a lot of today for various reasons, we've talked a little but as of right now, officially I'm still "thinking things over." I'm 44 years old and I've been dating a 24 year old for 5 months. Go cold turkey. I'll inform the vicar, you cancel the cake, yeh? I told him straight away what had happened. I then suddenyly realised what I was doing and burst into tears, telling him I could not do this to my boyfriend and then called a taxi and left. If you were to act like the person you want or see yourself to be, what would you do? So if life hands you lemons, don't HIDE them where they could one day trip you up or cause a rotten stink. To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account. Unforeseeable consequence. I agree with you about her being straight forward and telling her husband about the kiss and not holding back any secrets. "then the cheeky ugger only went and bloody kissed me, didn't he! We were going through an awkward time in the relationship and I was craving the attention and simplicity of this guy. Kissed another man four years ago and NOW feeling guilty. (although, I'm not sure how this counts as a debate if you and I are in total agreement, lol). This. You went and MARRIED someone who was your best FRIEND, not your Bam!, Pow!, "oh my god there is a god!" Personally, if nothing happened apart from him buying drinks and giving you a ride home, then I wouldnt have told at all. Why do I feel guilty after a make out session? - Quora The doubt in your mind over his behaviour might actually be a doubt in your mind over yours. I enjoy watching my wife with other men, is this normal or - Health24 It's quick, easy, free and you don't have to leave your real name. There was a lot of biting and groping going on, because, you know, the guys were giving it their best shot. Own your truth- You did not expect to hear the REAL TRUTH and the RIGHT ADVICE. Should I tell him I kissed someone else? - by John Grey, PhD One way to alleviate guilt is by taking action. I gave up playing tennis with him. It was a real dress up affair, and the drink flowed freely all night long. Come join the discussion about love, romance, health, behavior, conflict resolution, care, and more! Don't feel guilty because you are a mom (or dad) and you feel like you need to be spending time with them. | This was a relationship BTW not a marriage. Funny, I have never gotten amorous when I have had too much to drink. Married and I kissed another manshould I tell him? - Page 2 As for what we believe about kissing being the gateway to sex (specifically foreplay, which itself is the main gate): if anyone believes it *isn't*, thenwellAll I could say to that is: Whoever did it, doesnt matter. He said I was a person and offered to ride me home. Itachi, Lees theory can backfire, especially if the person really believes you are talking about someone else and then he/she finds out you are talking about someone that YOU did. I cannot tell you how much I love my boyfriend and how shocked I am about this. I didnt hear from my piano teacher for at least two weeks after that. Reviewed by Gary Drevitch. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. Most people don't confess- You ask for advice of what you should do- you got the RIGHT advice. "but the fact I work with this person and have to continue to work with him. " I really have a problem believing but forgave her and weve been together another 20 yrs now and have 15 grand children hasnt ever really bothered me but about 3 yrs ago it hit me like of bolt of lightning out of nowhere and I cant get that night out of my mind, keep obsessing over what they might have done and how they spent the 4 or 5 hours that they were together outside the venue that night. However, the fact that you kissed another guy can act as a trigger for him to think negatively of you. I felt a mixture of excitement and flattery and nerves. When you feel guilty for hurting someone you love, holding in those feelings makes it worse. So, when he offered me whisky, I happily drank it until I was drunk as a skunk. I worry I made huge mistakes in my life and that I am destined to life a "good" family life forever more, but never feel that amazing desire and lust and sexual attraction I don't feel for anyone else but this man. Mercy got too drunk, Cintia was drunk but she was ok so far. My gf went to a house party and got really drunk, and apparently kissed a g My girlfriend got drunk and kissed another guy, 2 months later she got drunk and kissed a girl, HELP. Kissing someone other than your spouse is cheating. One is your marriage, the other is a relationship with a married man with family. For the last two years have read a lot about infidelity. I have posted a vent and been waiting for your scathing reply. People who are qualified to label themselves good don't keep secrets from the one person in the world they tacitly vowed never to keep secrets from, particularly when the information is the victim's right to know (in order to continue to emotionally protect themselves, particularly whenever their partner's showing they're currently unable to execute their duty of helping them do so 'right to know' because where there's a problem in the relationship as, with the mere aid of the pigpen gate-unlocker called alcohol, causes behaviour counter to the relationship's chances of continued success, then - AS a team - it takes both members' addressing it together for the solution/outcome to possess any real authenticity or permanent efficacy.

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